Oh, ow, my heart hurts today. Many tears. A deluge of emotion I have held inside came rushing through this week like a furious flood. I didn't hold it all in on purpose, mind you. I don't seem to know how NOT to hold things in. I prefer to hide.
Thankfully, the Holy Spirit seems to know when it's cryin' time again. My friend Daisy Mae always said tears hint at the presence of the Spirit. No doubt. I am healed through my tears. They never happen on cue for me, and are usually inconvenient, but are always right on time.
I've been in such a creative place lately, and the creative existence has a way of opening up my heart. It is such an honest place, pure and raw.
It's funny how the crazier I feel, the more sane I am - I hope. Emotions are a gift from God, and I guess that's what this amounts to, emotions. Emotions are there, whether you know it or accept it or acknowledge it or not. It takes great effort to stuff uncomfortable emotions. It makes you crazy, makes you act out, or take things out on the wrong people.
We women are known for our emotions. We artistic types are excused in our eccentricities by them. How ironic, since no human is exempt. Well, anyway, where was I? Oh yes, I'm crying over everything today. Maybe my heart is getting ready for another Gethsemane. I feel so aware. I feel so connected. I feel so devastated by the pain and sorrow in this world. I feel.
I'm sure looking forward to Easter Sunday. Lord Jesus, give me the strength to stay and pray with you until then.